Generational trauma. Abandonment. Death.
Why me? Why am I so different.
My dad passed when I was 4. My biological mother left us at 2. From what I’ve been told all these years, she did not want to look after me. Instead, she preferred partying and whoring around.
But I realised something as I got older, I don’t know if the narrative that I’ve been fed is 100% accurate.
I’ve only ever heard my adoptive mom’s version.
She stepped into their lives as the hero. And, of course she would depict it that way. From what I understand, my dad and biological mom had already split up. In came my adoptive mom, into the life of this man who is raising a toddler alone.
I have forgiven my biological mother because she enabled me to have a life of some privilege and structure. Life wasn’t easy with all this unresolved trauma, but it would definitely have been worse considering the stories I’ve heard. More kids (yip, half sibblings I don’t know), more marriages, drugs, and multiple breast cancer diagnoses.
I’ve been thinking about reaching out to her a lot over the last couple of years. She is on Facebook, but then I get scared. What if she wants money from me? What if she rejects me, again!
But, I think I’ll regret it even more if she had to pass away, and we never reconnected.
Does anyo else have a similar story and how did it work out for you after making contact?
She did reach out via Facebook in 2017/18 but I was not ready to talk to her… 💔
~A.W~
Ana Wilde 